I am Second Run, and Remembering why I'm out there.

"Have fun running! And run a few miles for me, ok?" "I will, and I have been." (Big hugs) That was the parting conversation at church last Sunday, with a friend who is fighting, and winning, a battle with breast cancer. 

Somewhere along the way, I started focusing on the destination, and forgot that the journey is every bit as important. I guess it happens to the best of us. My first half marathon is looming large, it's only a week and a half away. So I'd probably be weird if the excitement, nerves, fears and doubts weren't getting a little overwhelming right about now. But it's not really a great place to be. I'm sure my kids would agree that I've been a bit crabbier than usual!  I'm starting to feel the burnout. It's harder to roll out of bed in the morning. I'm tired of feeling achy all the time. Rest days aren't such a tragedy lately. Im ready to get this race on!

When I started running last summer, it was about me. It was my time away from the kids, something that was for me and not about the kids for once, and because I needed to prove to myself what I was capable of. By fall, that shifted. I was going through a rough patch, and I kept finding others who were too. I found myself in virtual running groups, like the FFCrew, and Run3rd. I ran for people I've never met, I ran for friends, I ran for family. Somehow dedicating the miles and spending some time praying for them made the long cold miles over the winter not seem so hard. But over the spring and summer, it got away from me. It became about the training plan and the race at the end. The little conversation on Sunday reminded me of what I really wanted this to be about to begin with. 

So this morning I reluctantly rolled out of my nice warm bed and headed out for the I am Second Runanywhere virtual run. It was cold! 50 degrees feels so much warmer in April than it does in August! But I guess it's better than the snow I ran in when I did this last year. Despite the cold, it felt good to get back out there for reasons beyond the training plan. I ran for my friend. I played tag with a nighthawk. I got out there beyond me, and remembered the One who has given me the strength to get out there and keep running in the first place. 

It wasn't a perfect run. I still managed to obsess over many things race related. I won't say I'm back yet, but I'm on my way. My purpose isn't hiding in the background anymore. I needed that reminder that God is always got this... Myself, my family, my friends. I don't have to do this alone. And that's why I am Second.

What a week!

It's been quite a week. I feel like if mental growth could be measured with a wall chart, I'd be about six inches taller. 

In two different training runs, I unintentionally ran an extra 2.5 miles, and survived. 

I got to run with a friend! 

I took my bike on the trails behind my house and had my first good fall, in a giant mud puddle.  I'm still picking gravel out of my knee, three days later. 

I celebrated National Running Day with a 5 mile run along the lakeshore, which was awesome, but I was reminded not so gently about the importance of sunscreen and Body Glide, and how great an ice bath Lake Superior is. 

I signed up for the AMR #FindYourStrong Half Marathon Chàllenge, and got my official training plan all set up. Now I'm feeling like it's really on.

And in non-running/biking activities, I was cutting some lilacs and missed with the scissors, taking off a pretty good chunk off my finger. I've gone through more band aids in this week than I have in the last year. 

Yesterday I survived my first venture onto single track. Since I'm still a beginner at this whole mountain biking thing, we started out riding the Grom, the kids trail, just to get a feel for it. Kind of like when you're learning to downhill ski, you start with the bunny hill. We went around once, to see how it went, and it was all good, (only ran into one tree) so we started out again. And took a wrong turn. 

I've had plenty of people tell me they don't like single track for various reasons. So I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I wasn't expecting that! The trail got hillier, and rockier, and twistier. We kept climbing, and suddenly we're riding on the edge of a gorge, with the rushing Carp River down below. Somehow we got onto Gorge-ous, a black diamond trail. Now that it's over, and I survived, and even rode well, I'm feeling pretty tough, and Stronger-than-I-thought. But at the time, it was the closest I've been to real fear in a long time. Like, asthma attack and I'm glad my Fitbit doesn't have a heart rate monitor! But we made it, we survived, and I have to say, when we looked at the trail map afterwards, and saw that we went from the kids trail straight to the black diamond, I was pretty excited.  Those worries that I couldn't handle this, I'd never be good at it, faded into the background. The fear isn't gone by any means, and the thought of bouncing off a rock and flying over the edge is something I'm going to have to fight. But at least I know I have what I takes to get through it.

Today I had a 7 mile run on the training plan. After my crazy week, I grabbed my black Rockstar flower and stuck it in my hair. I don't wear that one too often. My brain has a hard time feeling like I've earned that rockstar status. But today I wore it proudly and rocked those 7 miles. Hills and all.

So to sum up what I learned this week.... 

Sunscreen. Don't leave home without it. 

Always make sure you have your keys before the van gets locked.

Friends! I forget how much I need them sometimes.

Duct tape may not be the best idea to keep a band aid in place. It true that it's not going anywhere, but your skin may never be the same.

Don't sell yourself short. That moment when you want to tell yourself you can't, might be the same as when you realized you already did, and more.

Just because you don't feel like it, doesn't mean you aren't a Rockstar.

The Journey of No Limits and a Race Recap

Participating in the AMR No Limits Chalłenge was one of the cooler things I've done recently. For 15 weeks I learned to run in the snow, braved -15 windchills, and figured out how to entertain myself on the treadmill for 5 miles. I learned what intervals and tempo runs are. I discovered that my stomach prefers GU Chomps over gels, and that Nuun Kona Cola is by far my favorite sports drink. When the day came for the long 8 miler, I went out and thanks to technology being dumb, I ran 9 miles instead. It was definitely a growing experience.

Yesterday I was able to finish the challenge when I ran the Hope Starts Here 10k race.  I was also using those miles for the She Rocks virtual run, my Mothers Day present to myself. It was....... crazy, awesome, amazing!  My race didn't start until 10:00, but typical of race day, I was wide awake by 6:00.  So I headed out, figuring I'd watch the half marathon and duathlon starts. The temp was 40 degrees, with a north wind off of Lake Superior that made it feel like 30. I spent the two hours before the run catching up with friends, and trying in vain to stay warm!  

Finally it was 10:00, and time to run. All the training was already paying off, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. We started, and I followed Coach Christine's advice to start in the back of the pack and forced myself to go slow. I've learned the hard way about starting out too fast, and I knew it was for the best, but oh, did I hate that! Everyone just blowing right by you. Arg! But I held steady.  I don't really remember a ton about the run itself.... Things like breathlessly trying to cheer on some Fellow Flowers, how incredibly boring the stretch of trail between Founder's Landing and South Beach is, the stitching on the wrist of my shirt had raveled and the string kept wrapping around my fingers and driving me nuts, and how awful the wind and drizzle felt in your face the whole way back! I think that was every bit as miserable as running in negative windchills! The finish got closer, and I began to pass more and more of the runners who left me in the dust at the beginning. The training paid off again, and still had enough for a good finishing kick, and crossed the finish line strong.

I refused to give myself a time goal for this race. I just wanted to finish. But to be honest, I was really hoping I could get close to an hour. But when I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check Strava, and saw my time, I was pretty sure it was a mistake. Strava had been acting goofy lately. I walked out of the chute, dazed, out of breath, shaking like a leaf. Friends were coming up and asking how I did, and I must've looked confused, because they all said "oh you just got in!" I finally found the line to get my time slip, and when I got it, I was blown away. 56:31! Strava wasn't lying after all! I had totally crushed the time goal that, I confess, I was too scared to make! Dang!

So I guess I could say this challenge was perfectly named, No Limits. Every time I figured I had reached what I thought was my limit, I managed to push right past it and move way beyond what I ever thought I was capable of.  Half the time, I didn't realize it, I just did it, and the next thing I knew, the five mile runs that I was dreading became my favorite ones to run. This is so awesome, that moment when you look out and can see those dreams and goals are just a bit easier to reach than they were just a short time ago. And now it's time to reach out for the next one.... Let the Half Marathon training begin!

The Journey Really is the Destination

 I've been meaning to just start this blog for a while now, and I guess there's no time like the present.  I'm sure there will be many random thoughts here, but if you've known me lately, it'll probably be 90% related to running. It's kind of taken over and some days I feel like a silly teenager with a movie star crush, because it feels like it's all I talk about these days. But I've come so far, and learned so much since I started, it's not a bad thing. So... Sorry, not sorry! 

"The journey is the destination" has always been a favorite saying of mine. My running journey began back in high school track, when I was running the 800 meter, and the cross country coach asked me one day if I'd be interested in running cross country the next year. So I did, and I did ok (I actually medaled once!) but it was was a love/hate relationship. Hindsight 20/20, I'm sure that running 5 miles right after a long day of school on a stomach full of cafeteria food didn't help.  But it kept getting harder and harder, and eventually I had to give it up when I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease.  

Fast forward 20 years. I'm a married stay-at-home mom of two boys, aka, pretty busy! I never ran again. In fact I spent all that time believing that I couldn't. That's a whole lot of "I can't s" piled up. But eventually they turned to maybes, to what ifs, to never-know-if-you-don't-try. I signed up for a Run or Dye, and the Marquette Mountain Mud, grabbed my old gym shoes, and ran the 1 mile lap around town. It was ugly, and my 11 minute time was a far cry from what I could do in high school, but I did it! And I was hooked! After the Mud and Run or Dye were over, I kept on signing up for 5ks. I kept training. I got to fight through strange injuries. I was blessed to have my youngest son join my for a couple of those 5ks. I learned. I grew. Over the winter, I kept right on going, thanks to the Another Mother Runner Nuun No Limits Challenge where I spent the last 15 weeks training for my first 10k. And that race is happening tomorrow. And so.... To be continued!