I am Second Run, and Remembering why I'm out there.

"Have fun running! And run a few miles for me, ok?" "I will, and I have been." (Big hugs) That was the parting conversation at church last Sunday, with a friend who is fighting, and winning, a battle with breast cancer. 

Somewhere along the way, I started focusing on the destination, and forgot that the journey is every bit as important. I guess it happens to the best of us. My first half marathon is looming large, it's only a week and a half away. So I'd probably be weird if the excitement, nerves, fears and doubts weren't getting a little overwhelming right about now. But it's not really a great place to be. I'm sure my kids would agree that I've been a bit crabbier than usual!  I'm starting to feel the burnout. It's harder to roll out of bed in the morning. I'm tired of feeling achy all the time. Rest days aren't such a tragedy lately. Im ready to get this race on!

When I started running last summer, it was about me. It was my time away from the kids, something that was for me and not about the kids for once, and because I needed to prove to myself what I was capable of. By fall, that shifted. I was going through a rough patch, and I kept finding others who were too. I found myself in virtual running groups, like the FFCrew, and Run3rd. I ran for people I've never met, I ran for friends, I ran for family. Somehow dedicating the miles and spending some time praying for them made the long cold miles over the winter not seem so hard. But over the spring and summer, it got away from me. It became about the training plan and the race at the end. The little conversation on Sunday reminded me of what I really wanted this to be about to begin with. 

So this morning I reluctantly rolled out of my nice warm bed and headed out for the I am Second Runanywhere virtual run. It was cold! 50 degrees feels so much warmer in April than it does in August! But I guess it's better than the snow I ran in when I did this last year. Despite the cold, it felt good to get back out there for reasons beyond the training plan. I ran for my friend. I played tag with a nighthawk. I got out there beyond me, and remembered the One who has given me the strength to get out there and keep running in the first place. 

It wasn't a perfect run. I still managed to obsess over many things race related. I won't say I'm back yet, but I'm on my way. My purpose isn't hiding in the background anymore. I needed that reminder that God is always got this... Myself, my family, my friends. I don't have to do this alone. And that's why I am Second.